We view and interpret our world through our belief systems. Our beliefs drive our behaviour, whether it is respectful or abusive.

Why is our attachment to an abusive partner often so strong when abuse is happening? A phenomenon called trauma bonding can help to explain it.

If we are living with abuse, we are very likely to want to see change. We may long to see improvements in our relationship and want to have a happy relationship and keep our family together.

When destructive words are used against us repeatedly and relentlessly, we can soon begin to second-guess ourselves and doubt our own intentions, behaviors, and insights.

Safety is a primary concern when we are living with destructive behavior. Women are sometimes caught by surprise when they wrongly assume they are safer than they actually are.

Some people have the knack of sucking the joy out of every special occasion. If our partner happens to be one of these people we are likely to be left with bitter disappointment.

If we have left as abusive relationship, building a new life can be lonely and exhausting. There may be moments when we long to give up and go back to the familiarity of our old life.

Abuse is power play in action. Many tactics can be used to get the upper hand in the relationship. It is important to be fully aware when powerplays start to be used.

If we try to tell people we are being abused by our partner the comments people make may be unhelpful, or downright destructive.

Children living in an unhappy, unsafe home, are usually torn and confused. They adapt in many ways to cope with the situation.

The words we say to ourselves have a powerful impact on our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Our words can bring us down or uplift us, so it is very important to speak to ourselves in empowering ways.

Writing Invisible Wounds was a deeply profound, spiritual experience, and one that I will never forget. After 4 ½ years of abuse I was at incredibly low ebb…

The most effective way we can protect ourselves from abuse is to ensure we are very clear about what behaviors cross the line. This is not as simple as it sounds.

All couples have power struggles and disagreements at times, but the abusive relationship is characterized by inequality, unfairness, control and unkindness.

If our partner is repeatedly using destructive behavior against us it is almost inevitable that we are changed by this experience and these changes can be far-reaching.

When are we struggling in a destructive relationship the most pressing question is often: “Will he change?” This is a vital question because our future is impacted so much by the answer.

Occasional clashes and conflicts between couples are inevitable. However, when this conflict is one-sided and our partner’s behavior is demeaning and hurtful it is time to stop and take stock.

Anger, acted out destructively, can be one of the most destructive emotions in a relationship. Angry outbursts can be frightening and distressing to live with.